Lately I have been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. It seems sometimes in life every which way you turn the ocean waves are just knocking you down. I live near the beach and I have been in the ocean when the waves are coming at you so fast and they are so strong that by the time you stand up you are knocked down again. And you get so worn out that finally you just give up and say I'm done! That is how it has been for me for a while now. It seems by the time I catch by breath there is another wave thrown at me. I feel like Peter when he walked on the water then he started to look at the storm around him and he began to sink. Matthew 14:28-33 "Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ 29 He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came towards Jesus. 30 But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’ 32 When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God." In this season in my life it has been me asking God where are you? Where are you in this? Can't you see the waves all around me? So this morning on the way to mass I heard this song Oceans by Hillsong. And it stuck a cord within me.Sometimes the only way for me to put my eyes back on Jesus is listening to worship music. And Hillsong is one of my favorites.
Last night I was so frustrated. I was frustrated with everything. With my foot and everyone around me. So I got my journal out and I just poured my heart out to God about everything. I asked Him to forgive me for complaining to Him but I needed to get it out. And then this morning I received this devotional in my email about "Tell it all to God." And this was the scripture in the devotional "Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. —Psalm 62:8." So I know now that God does want us to pour our hearts out to Him. It has just been really frustrating with my foot the way it is. Not being able to do things on my own. And other things in my life right now. Sometimes life is just plain frustrating! And after I had written in my journal I put my mp3 player on and listened to Matt Redman's song Facedown. And for about an hour I listened to Matt Redman and worshiped God. Quietly. I just wanted things to be quiet. I have just felt a lot of noise around me recently. I wanted some peace and quiet. And the only way it seemed I could get that was to put my mp3 player on and tune out the world. And just worship God. And I felt so much better after that. At that moment when I started to worship I could feel His presence. It is quite wonderful when you are in His presence. And I felt so much peace at that moment. This also reminded me of Isaiah 26:3" You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." So I don't think I started Lent out right. But I felt like God was telling me just turn everything over to Him. And it seemed like God did not mind me telling him all my frustrations. I think He wants us to. When I got the devotional it just spoke volumes to me. That God really does care about our problems and frustrations and He wants us to tell Him about them. He wants to be kind to us and comfort us in our lives that are so full of stress. But I think I am going to have to work on the list I posted below for Lent. Here is the link to the devotional it you would like to read it.www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2010/02/18/devotion.aspx
